You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
