i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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