Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I know her cup size but not her name....
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