You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
