When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Damn victory sex feels great
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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