Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
