I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
