i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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