i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
