I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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