i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Semen is not good for contacts.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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