I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
