just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
