I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and she was petting her beer can
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
