never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
