Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Barsexuality is the new black.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
