If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
His nipple licking is glorious
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