Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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