Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
