Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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