Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
