Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
