i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
