i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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