Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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