Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
