you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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