the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
