look no pants
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
