I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
