FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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