Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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