Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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