do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
