new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
