Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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