Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
