About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
