I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
