What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
