chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Enjoy the penises
there is glitter all over my balls
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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