it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just had sex bonerless
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
