I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
