we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
