If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Randomize
