have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
