I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
A+ Viking dick
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
