I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
