Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
you never un-have a 4some
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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