I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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