if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
